glass beads/pollywoo
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there is a taipei tower which is invisible for it build in year of 2099,every believers take silver beads to the tower,to attend robot celebration,the robot is a preast,he talk flunent theory of lord,the preacher say,human mind are so delicate that they dont know how to cherish it,if the religion brain wash you,then you are nothing just like a robot,refrain words like stocking knowledge,there will be no interest any more.1
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robot security is very sereve,nobody is allowed to talk privately,only takling note is secretly permitted,but words robot say is recorded not only everyone can require the bible,the preast is also repeat his words if it is a good lesson to tell.the saint church lecture is full of theory and practice experience,the robot preast can tell everyone's own encounters,and analysis is given to all of them by a machine of fortune telling.2
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i pray for get lucky on the lottery buying,today the prize will be anounced,i pray and pray,just to get what i want,a house of my own,and to donate money if i win the lottery,but the lottery is not bringing me lucky number,i go to buy again the next day,cause i wont give up.3
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robot is precast name,not really a robot,I am Oscar and my boyfriend is Andre,we bit a green apple together.the lord is warning them,if they eat the green apple,they will have no wings that can fly,and they will turn angel mind into hell devil,but we won't listen,we feel flying is so tired,we want to settle down on earth,so we lost our wings after bit the apple,we become invisible in Eden park.still we have to fly to sent no birth baby to all couples who want any colonial baby to raise.we are written in the Bubble after epoch,this is new world version,we make love together just to stick so tight,if my father dark king is unhappy,the lord will call for rain at night,to make Andre and me feeling upset,my mother is light queen,she love the king very much,I am their only kid.4
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my parents produce black and white baby doll s to make us carry to each couple's home,and with a letter of promise to love the baby no matter it's black or white,they all look the same face.baby dolls are manufactured by heaven factory,every couple should learn how to teach baby talk and listen.5
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we hide invisible in the Eden park,sleep on the grass,the lord has power to punish us if we don't work hard.Andre build a tree house for us to live,we made clothe by leaves and flowers neeting,we wear wood made shoes,and there are all kinds of fruits for us to eat,when we are thirsty,we can drink spring water from the fountain,but in 2099 i become a lady who go into Andre's family,he blame me that i make his wife crazy and live in the hospital,he dont love me any more,just lies surround my ear,i dont trust him,so i forget that he cheat me one day he will take me home,and we all become invisible just like the Bubble said.6
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i betray Bubble,and not go to believe bad religion,which make me dream about shit full of lady's bathroom,i believe in rose chaplet which is peaceful in my dress,my face is getting pretty,and i try to read sutra a little bit to compared with Bubble,and i find out Bubble has a better curing power to make me illess,and more similar with the pioneer in the society.7
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Andre's wife can teach in the cramp school,she is slim and pretty,they have two kids,one girl another is boy,noe i dont want to bother him,mid-autumn festival is coming soon,i wont go to see him,Andre has forget our paris rose relationship,he wont be a servent besides me like before,i face the ongoing reality in my life,i feel like going to find a lion with wings in legend,he will be my angel partnership i think so,so i search him on be2 app,i find out that he is no easy become a eastern guy,cause he is so fancy to be western guy,that looks more handsome and be suitable to his way and style of living.8
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i download tarot app,i play twice and know i should leave Andre as soon as possible,he is not belonging to me any more,he love his wife and pretending she married another rich guy,in fact,he buy a chip house for her to escape from me,to testify my love,finally she come back home,i hear her voice in the phone,i guess they want money from me,so i refuse him by any way of connection,any way,this love is blind,i am wasting time on him,now i wake up that they sell the chip house and live together in the old house with elevater and security.9
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Andre sent one friend to make me love a professor i know long time before,he wish me happy with this guy,i dream about date with him,eating steak and then make love,we have a fucking dream and i suddenly become beutiful and full,i like him very much,and i hope we can be a good couple that no body bother us,till the end of my life,i hope to accept this introduce,but everything depends on my mother's decision,prove or not to prove,that is a question.10
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i find out the professer express a buddhasim theory,i believe maybe i should give up the Bubble,and take my glass beads to read sutra,to complete my life,to maintain cheerful life of buddha belief.the professor take me in my dream fucking soft core with me,and he eat steak with me in the resterant,he scold me never watch clearr those people surround my side,and he dont permit me to love somebody else,that is a feast of love,i like him.11
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the next night,i dream about so many calligraphic books in front of me,that is because i ask him what should i paint in my endless paper,he show me the calligraphiic words,i try to destingruisjh them but i am so confussed that i lost the dream and wake up,with a pain in my stomache,i think he give me hard core last night dream when i was fall esleep.11
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professor gorden suck my water mouth untill my mouth is so dry,i just ask him to kiss me,he eat my water and say it is sweet like sugar,i start to fancy him when he is on the class,but he tell me not to tease him during work time,i can only miss him with television play fuzzy stock number high and low.he used to be my teacher when i was at 20,he say love is play tricks,i hate that but i tend to understand his mysterious mind,is he a romantic fool lke tarot said.12
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he warning me if he give me all salary and i still live my low fee life,he will punch my buttom,because i dont like all product in the world,they seem not attractive to me,i only spent 1000 nt dollars a month,and still save writing payment,i just dont want to waste money that i desire nothing,how can i spent his effert money,i am going to save it in my account,for us to go to trip and travelling around france.13
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my gorden ask me a name card,what does that mean,i cant solve the riddle,my id name card?if he would like to have it,i will give him by promise,he ask me to blow job for him,i say after marriage to give him,in fact,i feel so sick about 'sex history' now that he want to teach,but what can i do,he is neat and gentle but dick is hard core,i can only endure it for love is pain,in hyper sex alter he must feel very prode about his erect banana,i ever dream about he put aside in the pillow i am enjoy,and i lick it several times,it is so huge.14
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i call him my teacher,and i dont know his english name,i name gorden for him in this novel,he seem dont like it,anyway i live in a fantacy that i have already sleep in his bed,his house,i has already win his love,but it is a remote romance,who will start the ease first,we are all shy,not able to face the reality of telling the love bloom in the secret part of mind.15
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my teacher looks like a buddha face,his ear is long,i especially love to look at his fatty round body,that makes me want to touch his bosom through the clothe he wear,that is my fantacy,i think of this,i probably will laugh out loud in side my heart,he stop me with a sharp voice,i know my muse is transfered from andre to gorden,that is better,andre wont resque me,he only hate me for flatter him with too many egg rolls,i ask just for a dinner,and he refuse to me.16
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i cant go out late at night,and i dont want to be deliscious to a good experienced man like gorden,maybe i know finally he will end with me,so i stop going forward,he just live in my mind as a muse,i think it is ok to be so,stay away from any male is better for me,i dont want him and memory with him,i just hate to go between his trick and plan with the boss,because i awe him a bill of money,anyway love is a forget land for me,as now i just want to be all alone,i dont want to bring affairs home.17
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last night we talk about each other,he tell me he has parents,and his sleeping room in the collage is so small,he think aout things by standing gesture while i am lying down thinking person,we speak tenderly,and he is like a idoling duck that dont touch me to let me happy,i tell him that i awe the bill to the boss,he say he will return the money for me,i think about how he is hardship working by brain and is so conservative to me,he laugh at my joke.18
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the proffessor is restrict by institude morality,he has to do scholar reserch and he want me to help him in his unsolved puzzle,he tell me he is the same horoscope as my father,who knows,i remember when we were young,he play pregedy black face to me,i dont know he feel erect about me,how will i know that,it is his secret,if he love me,he will kiss me every night,not to blame me arouse his lust with the thought of dirty and nasty mind.19
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i wish to buy lover's discourse this book,to read it once again,but it is sold out so hotly on bookstore that no left book for me to buy,forget about it,he say,it is not a good ending,he just dont want to let me know that he is serching barthe's lover,he doubt it is me,i wanna know it too,but he is so poor,he dont have money and time to take me travel,i think that i am tired of male's lie,i want to write a broken love in this book,for all i see is ruin in the future.20
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he tell me that he live in parents home for holiday time,so he does not rent a hotel room for going to taipei for preparing this meeting,it is me treat it as a date,but acturally he is trying to see if i am still pretty,but i am old enough to remember that several times he plan on teasing me my anger,while i just egnore it,for example,he tear down my selulu while i am photographing the data in the library,he joke my article which is full of sexuality adj,i also face his lecture that after home he tell me he is a gay,until he is old,he pass my pussy in the dream time,wake me up with hard core pleasure only he know,but i am sure he is quite understand me and my little secret with him,as i recall all this tricks,i find out he is just play fool of me,he never really come to invite me to fall in love.21
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tonight i do attend the professer gorden's lecture,he seem a little shot that i am not as pretty as before,i laugh at his borken mind,i can never be his sweet girl any more,i am almost 50,he tell me by hint that 'eacher is so hungry.'i answer him that 'i am already full.'in fact,he want to eat me or meat,this is a shy tone that i didntaware of it,the teacher is not so fat as i look him at the film,he know me so well that at the lecture scene he joke on me with several words,i think he is really very smart,he know my secret and point out my situation,i will sue andre's wife,i dont want to become a sued third lover,i will betray him that foolish goddamn extra.22
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andre is angry,he make noise of wash dishes,on the basement bookstore,i hear proffesser gorden is traslating the film which is a movie history documentay film of france,teacher please listen to me,i want to say sweet thing to your ear,but i am wired,i like to procced the love underground,and i like the murmuring in the bed,which makes me feel horny.i like to dream about you,but you never come to my dream,i want you to hug me,and then you do hug me to sleep,i find a new love that is you professer gorden,forget me not.23
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what is love?professer ask me,i can tell him thousand of reasons,but love is lady's private makeup desk,male will never know what is their love about the beloved one,professer gorden is my beloved one,and he is nice,all expensive cakes and wine are robbed by the audience,and no one want to buy his bring of frence books and vedio,of course i will not buy it,for i am a low value consumpt person now,i would only take money to exchange sleeping pills,i want to sleep while others want to awake,move like a over energetic player to refuse the sun never fall down on the sky of north land,but i like to sleep.24
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my teacher,you change back to the first sight i saw you 20 years ago,you are not a fat buddha look to me,but i still love you,for i would like to pick up your rude love,and not return to the waste land of extra,he take my money to raise his wife,i hate man already,but you are a hope to me,i should build a fake you to hug forever,i dont want sensation any more,for i like to be idle all day long,to let all ghosts gone,just left you and me.25
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teacher ask me who is that guy that drive me home,he is just doing cherity to sent me home mid at night,he wouldnt touch a vergin but rather go back to his girlfriend,my teacher is jealousy or testing me,i kind mess up with his mind,my teacher date me with a back face towards me,they are all the same,man,you shouldnt give me temtaption and then go away,i am still a nun like forbiden lust in my daily life,i wont be a nerd like you.26
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i think he like the girl he mention to us,he has a new lover,i know i should congratrilate him,from now on i will be a cold lady,maybe i will keep on reading,but in vain,for i have find a peace place for my mind,that is not to read anything,it is my cure method.27
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i order one french bubble red tea,it cost 38 dollars,in fact i lie,i drink passion fruit green tea,and i walk around the eden park,it seem that i want to loose my tension between fancy and boring,so i turn to go too the 7-11 shop of seconed floor rest zone,i think about myself might be a burden of antyone,cause i cant trust any word people say,and i refuse to any readible things,since teacher talk about passion,i drink it to find out the secret inside his word,it taste so pure good but like orange juice,i cant tell because the drink content no seed,our passion has no seed?i dont believe,in the past,he seem so dislike me,i try to write something about him,but he say he will write a different version from now on,i am confussed,does he has the talent of describing story in his mind subconscious plot?if i dont know his literary fight back,i will probably lost in my selfish novel,all i tell is truth,but it has no good ending.28
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in 2099,it is possible everybody lost wisdom,they live like robot,but still in need of desire no girl want to eating for too many food,for they need to diet for slim body and shape,it is poor days that the rule of sex gap is out of order,lord dont play chess,just watch the game.i am so tired of romance,i just want to have sweet dreams and blank reality.29
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my teacher,can i treat your absence as death?30
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